Monday, February 24, 2014

With Benefits



She told me 
I had a dry 
sense of humor, 
as dry as the bottle 
I got it from. Binging 
like a child 
in a Cracker Jack box, 
choking down the brown 
and getting my prize. 
She said 
she'd show me pain 
and punishment, 
so I showed her pain 
And all his friends. 

The Only Gift



I am insatiable
A monster
Of simple desire
Lacking destiny
Just dark and daring
You to get close
Enough
To be pushed away
In a splash
Of violent flavors
Giving lift to dying ice.

Flattered Less Battered



She is blight 
and filth 
and plague 
and looks like shit 
on paper but she 
drips so pretty 
like an asphalt rainbow. 

To Worry More on Life than Death



She spent an hour staring 
at the butt of her cigarette 
because it looked like me, 
curled up on the couch 
dead or asleep. She spent 
an hour staring at a beer 
because it looked like me, 
still, cold, sweating for her. 
She spent year in grief 
and a year in pain 
and a year in anger 
and a year in denial. 
She wanted to cry. 
She wanted to fall. 
She needed to kill. 
She needed to see 
that I was exactly 
who she thought I was. 

Angler Road; Pronounced at the Scene



I bought a fifth 
for my vices and a zip 
just to level. Found 
the edge of the earth 
with a foot 
on the pedal 
testing heroes 
and faith 
and destiny 
to see who caves first. 
Caught the branch 
of an old oak tree and woke up 
on the side of the road 
with a mouth full 
of dogwood petals. 
I couldn't find my truck. 
Good fucking riddance. 

It Hurt Like You Wanted



There I was 
in a magnificent 
pile of dead dreams, 
broken dogs and old, 
filthy persuasion. 
Jagged on the floor with bottles 
mumbling 
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds 
into the mouths 
of hollow prisons 
that house my wildest 
demons. Then a breath 
held was a breath lost 
and I begged 
for more. 

To Jack and Katja (Or Why I Don't Attend the Local Worships)


I'm incapable 
of giving shits
and everything else
that makes 
godheads
feel safe. 

Romance as Usual, I'd Assume



I promised to love you 
through all of your breaking 
but like you my promise is dust now, 
buried with prophets and deists 
who all forsook you 
with power and curses; dust 
I'll one day piss on 
in a stained glass stupor 
steadily forgetting your features 
until the next time I miss you. Eventually 
I'll stop hating and killing and crying 
and spilling but not this year, 
not unless I die before it kills me. 
So now I'm writing letters to the wind 
like I might actually see you again 
but I won't. Even if you existed 
somewhere past death 
we both know I've been hell bound 
since I first used my brain. 
If you do ever make it back to me, 
make sure you've asked your God 
if this is what real romance 
is made of. 

A Time Out and Tapping the Truth




From a tincture to a mixture
Of muddy drinks
And blessings
Heavy on the mud
Desperate and so spared
Hunting
For another place to die
A better reason
To live

The Bed



Seventeen feet 
from a grave
or a dream 
it's not real 
to tell 
the difference 
anymore. 

Rolling Over

 

My self is tired
Dismissal 
makes me sick
Tongue trapped 
in my jaw
A sandstone boulder
Crushing the chance
To breathe

On Eyelids and the Spaces Between Them



You were the fortune 
I should have found
By now- somehow. 
Perhaps if I sold
My shadows
We'd never fear rain
The way we do. 
As if it'd never end
And we were allergic
To every little bead
That swallowed us;
As if the head were the heart
The feet were the cause
And a pulse forced the choice. 

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Behold the Man That Loved and Lost but All He was is Overworn



I learned in time
that indifference 
is a grim reaper 
to holding onto 
the past. Emotion, 
from hate to love, 
is the iron lung, the 
blood, the resuscitator 
to memories best forgotten. 

Viva La Me



I'm closest 
to peace,
with eyes closed,
when I see
sand
falling 
from dunes. 

But We'll Be Alright



You'll hate 
my name, 
my features, my 
scent 
and anyone with them.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

As the Wallow


you walked 
away 
when it was 
easier 
to stay
but
you always 
loved me 
when I was 
easier 
to hate 

Gods Will Give Us Faults to Make Us Men



How can you walk with death so deep inside you
Half expecting me to share a seat,
To share a drink, a bed and never move
Like a weathered stone subdued in peat. 

Forever may I be the dirt you kiss
In sacrificial, sacrilegious pause;
The gift of cursing gods and and holding fists
Back from breaking down, from breaking walls. 

Define affinity beyond a flail 
For struggled breaths and curiosity
Or suffer in the sight of tearing sails. 
Your demons mirror your monstrosities. 

I just want to know that you're coming home;
I just need to know that you're coming home. 

What Whispers From Her Lying Lip



I'll leave you
Wandering in ruin
Wondering what ruined
Every line you grieved over 
And threw into the trash. 

A Lower Place May Make too Great an Act



These drops dissolved the happiness we chased
We chased them with a vesper to a peak
To get a peek and hopefully a taste
Of such divinity that faults the weak

But in the end these droplets form a wake
Awake and damaged, lambent we'd depend
On all that can depend on what we take
From one another, desperate to pretend

That falling makes us human where we're not. 
We aren't the magic, stars or sunny sets
We set aside in fantasy to rot. 
We're merely scenes we beg that we'll forget. 

I'll try to sleep you off but fail again;
My dreams still come alive with you within. 

Delaying Mournful Words



For years I've wanted to give
You more than I could offer
A heart free of time
And hands free of grime. 
You moved your hand
Somewhere you could reach midnight 
While I showed you the fascinating
Proof of a life 
Existing now and only now. 
And only now is all we have;
A forced skip of lips
That crumbles galaxies. 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Jusque-là



I flail between the bothered waves at sea
And shackle anchors to my wicked ways
Until my final breath takes you from me
I carry weight where desperation plays

Devour me, dismember all you see
Igniting choruses like carousels 
Until my final breath takes you from me
I'll challenge you to stay within my hell

Control this beast that married you through me
As if your life has not been rough enough
Until my final breath takes you from me
I'll drag you into pieces with this cuff

My dirty damsel- filthy- bloody- weak,
Goodbye should be the only word you speak. 

Juma Zuhur



Far inside the demands of faith, 
my curiosity played havoc 
pouring out grins 
and interrogating 
a purple sky hell 
slaked in warm sand. 
In belief, I am not lambent,
gowned in ill-shaded graves
briefly scraped 
by warlike polish. 

L'esprit de L'amant



She begs me
For every forever
As I kiss death
Five times a minute
With a guilty grin
Of grit and stain. 
That guilt runs west
Staring at her heals
Expecting a bitter lift
To a better path
And a better man
But she doesn't want better;
She doesn't want heaven. 
She's adopted my demons. 
She said they only need
A little bit of love. 

Elle Attend, Elle Ne Devrait Pas



She is smoke and death 
to packs of cigarettes. 
Folding points end to end, 
the ones I tend to forget; 
I meant to forget. 
But I am not a gift or truth. 
What has she done 
to deserve the worst in me? 
Why would I strive 
to preserve the worst in me 
when all that keeps me narrow 
is the thought 
of the filth 
of another 
hand on her. 

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Throwing Bricks


They can take my eyes
But you'll never leave my sight.
They can take my tongue
But I'll always scream your name at night.
And all the worries break 
Like fevers and waves 
Crushing the shells 
We once were cast into;
Tearing the sails 
We once were on path by. 
I can't seem to fail
With you on my mind. 
I will never fall
Without you in my hand. 
I've been all over 
The trails of beaten dreams
With hovered hives of cloud and dust
Throwing bricks down the throats
Of every prophet to feather my fears. 

Understand and Overstep



I'm not blind
Just blinded.
This blot, this mixture
A terrifying tincture
To all I know, all I am. 
But all of me is stuck on you
Like every dream 
You walked me through. 
This blot, this mixture;
Why won't it feel as wrong
As we knew it would. 

My Infidel



He swore I wore a halo
He warned me of his horns
I pulled him closer still
And felt him in my teeth. 
He was defined by insanity
For chasing my feet
Expecting a new design
Headed towards him;
Expecting a woman
To fall against 
The fill of summer days. 

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Precious Visions; Rare Dreams



It was impossible
As to have the world
End and begin simultaneously. 
No option to forget
The feeling of existing
And traveling forward
Further than I ever did before. 
No option to give me
A chance to run 
Among thieves stealing breath
Like it was all I ever needed 
to be happy. No option
To disappear with you
Within you and change life
As if it were ours. 
You said you loved me
In native tongues
Like I wouldn't know
But love is a word like no other
No matter what language 
It's spoken in. I may not 
Understand Arabic but I do
Understand your voice and love
Carries nerves and courage
On a tightrope across concrete
Chasms of confusion and fear. 
Love unearths sincerity from your eyes 
Buried by logic and faith
Bringing forth from the brown
A colorless passion. 
All of this I know
And all of this I witnessed;
All of it for nothing
But a constant split gaining ground
Forever until death or peace. 
You could not want me
Your test, 
     your demon, 
          your infidel. 
I could not have you 
The only heaven ever worth 
My heart, 
     my life, 
          my damnation. 


The Infidel III



What god would place us here
Place me in the webs if your eyes
Place you in the callous of my hands
Place an unholy, unworthy, 
Pathetic man in your heart and
Place a pipe bomb in mine. 
I am unholy without faith
But I am faithful. 
I am unworthy without choice
But I still choose you. 
I am pathetic without words
I am pathetic in your breath.


ELE of Her Faith I



There was a rolling boil
in the breath of her tone
like the undone feeling 
of a last kiss at death
and I was at the helm
of every holy hell
that finally broke the chain. 

A Trial in Madness


Do I need to beg 
For my life for you
To find the fool in you
And dismember 
My breath?
I will liberate your heart
If it costs me my life
To get you out
Of your empty sea
Of faith and myths. 
Making legend;
Making love. 

The Leap that Lends the Fall


Love will judge angels
But no god will stop us
And no god will approve
Of the fevers we produce
En route to final peace
And if there really is
A time for judgement
Of these such sins,
We'll only answer:
Love will do that;
 

Speaking to a Coward of Clouds and Dark Matter


I'm fighting with a ghost;
A poltergeist of prisons
Waving His holy prick
Like a wand full of great ideas
And fuck you's. 
But I promise you will never
Have either one of us. 
She wants you
To fall into me
But I refuse to be so weak. 
Why won't she turn 
her back on you:
why won't she turn
her hand from mine?