Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Self Indulgence with a Knife

We were witnesses
to our violence
and instrumental problems.
to potent mixtures
of fantasy, perception
and egocentric capacities.
We called this
the excitement of love.

The Glory on Her Face

She said,
this is what it takes
to love me.
And so I hanged myself
off around her neck
so she could watch
and I could see


She kisses me
dry and weak.
A functionless mess
of fire and famine.
She will never be my morning
regret but instead a wake
to the love I learned
the night before.

A Note From Her Underground

She rarely finished a book
but she was never a quitter.
She just couldn't stand
to see her story end
exactly the same everyday,
with her breaking mirrors
for every forgotten promise
and holding daily naps at noon
in a double wide grave of tears
and rusted bottle caps.


A monstrous vengeance
pitiless- alone- superior.
I am always oppressed
by this strange man
fierce and brutal; at toil
with the inside of my skin.

Simplicity in Simplicity

Our passions are not alike.
They move in different orbits.
This we cannot change
and never need to
because our differences
are compliments
and we both love the same.

Waves and Breakers

Everything we did
every night we embarrassed
ourselves every time
we swore on love
every time we were just
too selfish to fall for sleep;
It all still rings
through our eternities
like rain on the lake.

The Aleatory Wolf in Us V

In the last days
of our miserable existence
we remained alive
like involuntary predators
praying for famine and rapture.

The Aleatory Wolf in Us IV

For you I'd disappear
on a trail of gods
just to make sure they watched
what we were capable of.
And just like you I'd piss
on a trail of gods
just to make sure they could taste
what we are capable of.

The Aleatory Wolf in Us III

Interested ears
outlined against
sharp lights
and white pitiful sleep.
We were faint buds
in a bright world without air.

The Aleatory Wolf in Us II

We never cared
for the living
and so we always
killed again,
constantly weak
upon cruel ground
and inhospitable affection.

The Aleatory Wolf in Us I

I sought after familiar sounds,
a warning snarl
and respectful legs
huddled between bundles
of long and successful eyes.
I waited anxiously,
lurking in her progeny.

The Aleatory Prelude in Us

We were the same.
She had demons like mine,
ugly and persistent
pushing their way through
our lives in a ball
of loathsome singularity.
But we were different
in that she fought to destroy hers
before they could destroy her
and failed forever.
I aligned myself within their grips
to understand them
and live forever
as far from grace as possible.

Six Two Seven

To think of hate
in place of absent thought
is a gross fault on your part.
I have no capacity
for wasted energy.
You are not my past
but you are still mine.
You are my coward
and I will always consider you
as such.

Some Hank, Some Ketch

We all start at the bottom
but some us just belong there,
to soak in our shame.
Some of us feel more at home
the closer our hearts are
to the ground. But most
are as such for fear of the drop.
I, for one,
welcome the gallows.

Sunday, April 28, 2013


This girl's been crushed by phases
and phrases lopsidedly sacred.
She lived on faith, sleepwalking away
from the only thing she ever wanted
because it was just too hard to fight
for a place in his heart
and she was just too dead to care.

A Little More Skin

I kind of like the way you beg
for me and my eyes.
It makes me feel special to be
the only thing you would ever
devour your pride for.

An Overcast of Dirt and Deceit

I threatened her shade
to respect me,
my time of day.
But she shrugged me off
like sun on the back
of dead furs
sunken into miles of tears.
Tears from hell,
frozen and stolen.


My heart is broken
and I'm to blame
for teaching her
how to break it
so well.

Broken Still I Broke Her

Her body was held up
by magic bones
as needed to keep her
from falling apart.

Her lips were held tight
by tragic tones
as needed to keep her
from confessing.

Her eyes were held closed
by damaged clones
as needed to keep her
from seeing the truth

Her heart was held in
by bandaged stones
as needed to keep her
from falling for me

Wishes and Regrets Cannot Coexist

I was wrong if you listen.
I should be less than lonely
and you should simply
have never known me
but this type of love only
happens once.

Last Minute Brought to Life

If everything has died
then why do I
see your eyes
and if everything was tried
then why do you
find the time
to give it light
every night

Selfish Animals

We see the door
but we never look back.
We see the war
but weapons we lack.
We see the floor
but creep through the cracks.
We see the more
but just take it back.

I Hear Your Heart Around Me

You can cover the clocks
but they'll always talk
you out of letting this one go.
If you could just surrender
once, then you might fall
into a different bottomless pit
of happiness.

Wander in Rhythm

The lowest point of you
is in my tissue
and the lowest point of view
is when I miss you
but I'll be damned
or dead
to let you fray
over the heavens we made.

Four Eyes with a Streetlight Glow

We understood
the way it worked
but we still dreamt
puddles to be ponds
to be lakes to be oceans.
We understood
what we had. We understood
what it should have been.

Miss February

It was the restlessness
that kept us intact.
And it was
the uncertainty
and the fear
and we needed
every page of it
to live.

In Cold Air and Long Pauses

I promised to keep you
from the wreckage
of myself before I
let you become my breath
and I became
the hills of mayhem
you so vibrantly
fell on.

Friday, April 26, 2013

I'd Rather be a Cannibal, Baby

You could be so happy
If I disappeared
But we both know
how impossible it is to forget
what we have loved. It's that
single most recent moment
that jumps in the loop
to betray the feelings
we want to have; to betray
the feelings we shouldn't have
stopped feeling in the first place.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Esoteric Nature of Heartache

I am not a flower.
I grew in the dark
Like a forgotten fungus
Bending to please you.
I am not a tree.
I grew in glass bottles
Like a malignant mold
Spreading to reach you.
I am not a star
I grew with implosions
Like dark matter
Surrounding to hold you.
But I am not a monster
I grew within love
Like a moment of silence
Waiting to hear you.

A Drop and a Storm

Whiskey had the best of me
When I had the best of you
And I deserved to fall,
face in the dirt,
When you reserved
a place far from hurt;
A place far from me.

On a Rope of Questions

If the world
didn't rotate so fast
and I didn't
waste so much time,
I would have listened.
I would have saved you
from going so far
to escape all of your wounds;
to escape from yourself.
But you became a tragedy
I wanted to see
walk back home.

The Makeshift Masquerade III

And I still see
that moonlit face
that left us out of place
and left us out of space
to move on.
I still live
inside that day
so I can find my way
but I can't find my strength
to move on.

The Makeshift Masquerade II

Your tongue's only sadness
is lonely for practice.
A model for magic;
An unholy pageant.
My taste must be drunken
and stuck in forever
the way that you've sunk
into me.

The Makeshift Masquerade I

My hands are just
lonely bastards,
icons of rapture
and thoughts
moving backwards.
Your air is still
on the dresser
addressing my pleasure
and waiting to tether
to me.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Night Lights

Everyday with you brings me
closer to standing on my feet
again. And even though
we are not so perfect,
we are perfect in the dark.
And even though
we always feel worthless,
we're just worthless


I own more sorrow than fortune;
A luxury I'd die without.
If I cared long enough
to show you
where the earth begins and ends
then I might just fix
the rips in your chest.
But I'm convinced
that if I fix you, I'll lose you
and you'll lose everything
that made you
so special to me.
So we're stuck
in this purgatory;
a Bermuda love triangle.

Scars and Gripes

What gave us the right
to say more than goodbye
I loved you so wrong
that I loved most the way
you walked out alive.
You walked out
with just a scratch on your eyes.
And I fell to nothing,
to the nothing I always was
before you. And now
you're so broken,
you see me everyday,
the scar of your eyes.

The Fall of Solitude

Love taught me everything I know
but love never taught me
how to be alone. I gave you
nothing but the pieces
and you found them a place.
You carried me when I collapsed.
I saw the truth behind the weight;
my sins reflected off your face.
My words refracted, black in taste.
And you held your smile
through each gruesome mile
of trial and terror.
The pain of my weather.
The rain in my errors
and you made sure you never
loved me more than today.

Truth for Lack of Excuses

Alone we meant enough
to be together
but together
we meant nothing
to the world.
So I surrendered
to the dirt
under her nails
and passed through into
her beautiful side.

Monday, April 22, 2013

No Time for Mortal Love III

She began talking with weight;
her tongue heavy
as the burdens she tried to hold
off of me for a few hours. In a gift
of irony she talked
about burdens of love
like they meant nothing to her.
Burdens lubricated
by Irish rye and violent pride.
Burdens personified in me
like I meant everything to her.

No Time for Mortal Love II

She smiled, smoldered and asked
for a few of my vices. I told her,
by tomorrow she might be one.
She asked for a demon;
I gave her a congregation
of woes and smoky devils
pirouetting out of bottles
like horny bourbon genies.
In this moment
we were vulnerable
to a staggering degree.

No Time for Mortal Love I

A woman once told me
she loved the passion in my pen.
"The way emotions are drawn
so real, so vulnerable."
She asked me what she needed
to write like me. I told her
she didn't want to write like me
and if she did, she would need
more vices than hair to pull out,
more demons than hell itself
and more regrets than breaths left.
I told her to become real,
become vulnerable.

Sunday, April 21, 2013


Leaves don't dance for us
They don't dance at all
They get slammed and trashed
And ashed and forgotten
Like us by the world
The trees don't sing
We don't get butterflies
Our hearts don't melt
and we
We just love
As simple creatures must
To survive.

وقالت انها يطارد أيامي وقواعد ليال بلدي

Out of loving
someone like you,
I only ever learned
how to decay.


I didn't tell her what to say
but somehow she knew
what words were worth
their weight in whispers.
She said, even though
we don't always touch,
see or speak to each other.
This is love in its purest
form; uncut.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Wedding Bells

There are only a few good men
left in this world
and they all come in bottles.
Men that are better than me.
Men that are just like me
when we bring out the devils
from everyone's mouths.

Momentarily Misused

It was the subtleties
that brought her sweat to me.
The graze of fabrics
that brought flashed memories
in a storm of simple
questions. Yes's and no's growing
warm, heavy and impatient.
She called it
some type of love.

Back and Forth

As much
as you want to,
the truth
doesn't budge,
you can't
learn to love
the filthy fuck
in me.


Make no mistake
There are no missteps
In my tongue
I've killed you
Like I've loved
In 1984

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Like a Dream

Tonight I make a toast to every girl
Except for one who taught me how to feel
For her I'll write an ode to show the world
That like a dream , she was but wasn't real

Between the ugly colors of our pasts
I found her in my emptiness of mind
Below a mountain range of men and trash
But like a dream, though buried still she shined.

I loved her after love became a ghost
She loved the pressured strokes behind my pen
Of everything she was I loved the most
That like a dream, I couldn't know her end

Then I awoke to who I really am
A man of demons, vices, pain and sin;
A man so undeserving of her hand
And like a dream the terror would begin

I built her up on speed and evil charm
I left her on a night of genesis
I lied and lied beneath satanic arms
Then like a dream, her eyes dissolved to mist

So weightless under every cry she veiled
Perturbed and broken down while ash remained
Devoured by a pulse that seemed to fail
So like a dream her tears evolved to rain

Alone and carried home in filthy clothes
Like every bit of poison on my skin.
I let her go, hellbent to save her soul
She's like a dream I'll never have again.


where frustrated tears
slip beneath noise
like hooves on sand.
half-gentry spies
swimming through dunes
of relief and panic.

Late Rising

A copper sky
mounted on endless
before warm space
retaining little waves
of loam and tumult.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

A Midnight Affair Pt. I

My furthest slurred proposal
created convention in chaos
that she could only love. A firefight
of impossibilities fashioned
by vacant troubled bottles
in awkward poses under the sun.
This was all but whimsical and left
scars on both of us; scars
that cringe and chime aloud
to each other when
demons are present.

Wine Behind Her Eyes

Like an arras
of precarious ballads
written in fending
her dark eyes
are not forgotten but found
in calm-blooded wit
and coarse existence;
such enormous visions.


Prayers are selfish lies
Lined in pathetic
Heard by no one

The Ambivalence of Genesis

I blame you
For all of the pain
That evaporated
And all of the rain
That emancipated
The desert that was
My heart.

Sunday Mass

Far inside the demands of faith,
my curiosity played havoc
pouring out grins
and interrogating
a purple sky hell
slaked in warm sand.
In belief, I am not lambent,
gowned in ill-shaded graves
briefly scraped
by warlike polish.

Monday, April 15, 2013

The Desert We've Become

The was a time when I thought.
I thought about you.
I thought I was past loving
Shadows in their prime.
But shadows of that time
Seemed to have more
Shade. More cool air
To keep us from drying out
Dying out of our future.
So I can't help but love
Your shadow; I can't help
But never love you again.

The Ambivalence of Sorrow

Stains on wood,
Stains on me,
Stains are good,
Stain is me,

3am Tomorrow

I rest on flat lines
Flatlined to a degree
A degree of fervid danger
Dangerously in charge.
Charging my intuition
Into piles of fury
Furious at nothing.
Nothing ever sleeps.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Bourbon Burdens

Dispatch enamored charcoals
that uproot sentiments
as red as the worst of my habits.
Let me forget singular
matters of love that relish
in hard instances of penances;
those I find pleasure in.
Tonight we adjure the secrets
of darkness and grace.

Glass Bottom Blues

Stars fall out astir
in their own departure
and procrastination,
waiting to achieve
cold black radiance.

Mon Coup

My weaknesses rest
in her devil dealing hips
and her saintly manic lips.
She is my greatest

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Rye Eyed Night

I cling to sheets
soiled by selfishness
covering a bed of ash
from bridges
and angels
and planets
My tears pull plaster greys
to my neck like the rain
pulls worms from the dirt
and I greet them both
with Tennessee Honey.

Dusty Pub Stalls

A strange assembly
of tongues sang across
flames like weapons;
set alive on the shores
of scandalized air
in a wild lilt
of cocaine beheadings.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

One Story Above Main Street

Subtleties miss, offering freedom to nightly needs.
She sees the opportunity of revolution,
setting zippers off like shooting stars.
She looks to me for help in undressing
the regime of bottles that follows our emptiness.
Flipped collars and slipped tongues;
stubborn actions pinned against each other, still.
She dropped her palms with brilliance into mine
negotiating imminent attack to succor the faith
neither one of us ever seemed to feel in such chemistry.

Crusade 22

No lack of lazy pleasure
cowled and tossed
into sharp grimace.
Veiled in alleluias;
a bladed gem
of imitation. Air darkens
to hollow great fires
but the undertones swell
no matter the weather.

From the Heart of an Outlaw

Weeks proved
time has creatures
whose tones force
desperate hope
with tuneless stridency
into the souls below it.
Such deities
are darker than I.

Love in Salem

Steam wove through
the burgeoning loss of tone.
Teasing beneath the claws
of this vicious place.
Completely detached
from lustrously piquant depths
cloaked in stiffened shoulders
and kneeling women.

Majesty and Mayhem

I loathe me
marvelously on months
in the cold passage of her eyes
and even in happiness,
an apprehensive bite
has been mulled from paradise.
Yet, I still wage
for unspoiled hours.

Manic Impressive

She hugs me like she loves me
But she fell alone one night
And ever since I broke her heart
She's formed a fear of heights

Opulence Deterred

My limitations are wrong
certainly in trouble. Broken
into by reason and touch.
I only have hurt, hugs
and one angel left.
Still there is joy
in little triumph.

Aucune Foi

By letter, her moments
harbor a convent
of vociferous esteem.
Unromantic scenes
of reference and empty woods
faltering terribly
under rushed lights snuffed
by far spaced woe her own.
Scenes that hold her
under the magnificent weight
of her own breath.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

In a Foyer to Filth and Rapture

Melodies of the impossible
as suns turn guns loose
on the appeals and worries
seen in grievers of the deesis.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Misfits on the Rocks III

The weakness in me
managed to survive behind her
on grey streets
under the vagaries
of perverted night clouds;
voyeurs that reveal my limits
for despair and god.

Misfits on the Rocks II

Her goodbyes bare nuances
of melodious mediocrity
for which I carry blame
but if she'd close her eyes,
she'd see the power
of her presence within me.

Misfits on the Rocks I

We share our poison
like an Irish Romeo and Juliet.
Dying every night
on her bedroom floor;
dying every night
with caramel and licorice stains.

A Tongue of Devilish Chemistry

I'm scheming on the sly
Dreaming that I'm alive
Sipping tequila ether
With demons on either side
It's crazy for me to see them
Crazier to believe them
Basically I'm insane
Since I'm wasting away to beat them
I hate this and that's an issue
The basics of where it issued
Itself to me in a flurry
Of broken worries and tissues
Dismissal is just a visceral
Sentinel sent to sentence you
Into abysmal visuals
Minimalistic rituals
Simply in truth you pick and choose
The battles that you win and lose
Which then resumes
Impossible problems in my peripherals
Of mystery and wizardry
A symphony of misery
Formed between my history
And injuries from liberty
Without victory
Delivering a whiskey sipper's dream
Of simpler things
And killing demons with devilish chemistry

Unequivocal Favorites

I never met a perfect woman
Just fucked up ones
I couldn't help
But fall in love with

Hell in Me I

I folded
Buckled in a belt of hate
Failed to fall asleep
And focused on a foreign fate
It was the hell in me
That kept you around
It's just the hell in me
That keeps you around.

Missed Sobriety

Don't sweat,
pull your hair
quite yet.
Just sit there
for now
and tingle

A Duet of Selfish Destruction

Even though we smiled
And waved away
our shadows didn't.
They stood together
staring and throwing
shade on fire
onto the furniture.

Shameless Movement

We skip along like warped vinyl;
We are hot; newly found
and challenging God
in reference to forget a lifetime.
Forget the boasts of pillars
and subtle, modern pleasures;
great jewels of yesterday.
Never in our way.

Monster Mash

I feel at home
For more than moments
Now. It's the only heaven
I could find and coincidence
Would let her demons love mine.
Hers are shadowy lines
And mine are the filling dark.
They get along and wrest
Our hearts. Without them
On either side
Neither of us
Would be quite alive.

Paid in Stones

Please, don't feel guilty
about taking the place away
from confusing love.
We fall at a cost.
A cost paid in stones.

Under the Bar

I'd break myself
if you ever hit the ground
I'd waste away to bitter days
that I have grown
sorely accustomed to
And sail away
from every isle made of you.
You paid my dues,
and decayed into the memory
of an eggshell dancer
waiting for the sun

My Love

You mean more
Than the words I die for
The hurt I lie for
And the troubles that I horde
What's mine is yours

...Of Perfection

Together we build
In beauteous shades
Destroying the wealth
Of love to be made
For one single moment...

Of Broken Waves and Hollow Ground

I was told by an old friend
To keep my heart open
For one night that she might swing by
Once all the smoke thins
And we're both alone, then
We'll find all we need to get by
But if one is taken
The other won't break in
She said she would wait for her time
So surely she waited
Each minute she hated
Not painless, I waded her eyes
I loved her, she loved me
Together was something
We'd just never have time to find
I told her forever
Could not last forever
Forever's a figment of time