Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Tunnel Arcadia

I told her tombs are never fit for twos
But ones beside each other may appease
And destiny is just a bad excuse
For unambitious minds to die at ease

My body's worn by every fractal coat
Of friction that comprises most desire
Yet only when I stand confined by moats
Does frailty build a fear of feeling fire

So now make me a promise here tonight
That death bares some resemblance to a flare
Where I can chase a fleeting vagrant light
Until I reach the mercy of the air

The truth is I am kin to tyranny
As pris'ners of divinity must be

Falls Apart

With whiskey I get lost in loneliness
and terrorized by all I've ever loved.
With whiskey I see all I can't possess
beneath a carnal, drunken, summer flood.

The emptiness of bottles calms me down
as my reflection holds a shallow view.
It's in these moments that my fears are drowned
except for all my darkest thoughts of you.

"Of you" would seem to make more sense "Of me",
since all I ever did was break your skin
and disappear behind a wall to see
you curse the likes of me in other men.

Take what you like; hate what you wish, but try
to never settle for another lie

One Forever, Two Forever

Among her favorite things I stand alone;
A wicked piece of past she wished to part.
Unfortunately I am in her bones.
Unfortunately she is in my heart.

Among my greatest flaws, I never sleep
But when I do I always seem to talk.
Unfortunately nothing ever keeps.
Unfortunately words would help her walk.

Among our fears so few we see ourselves
Divided by the tragedy of us.
Unfortunately love becomes our hells.
Unfortunately fates like ours are just.

Yet even through the darkest ruined hearts
We shine enough to never be apart


The world is in the corner of a room
Where light tiptoes around with such a fear
That reverence will desecrate the bloom
Of tyranny- the reign's infernal tears

Our freedom is a god in which we trust
Our enemies are devils to our faith
Our faith is a command sent down to us
By men we only hear like heavy wraiths

So soon we'll see a planetary war
Economies will fall beneath the niche
As money burns, the last thing for the poor
To eat will be the filthy fucking rich

And as it is I know I'll eat my portion
To celebrate the earth's greatest abortion

The Root Cafe: Welcome

Welcome to the premier spot
For poets to circle jerk.
The walls are coated in cum stains
The microphone is sticky
The food is all organic shit
Pretty good coffee though
Most of the "artists" read
The same terrible lines
Every Friday night
Disrespecting language
And pissing on the graves
Of Bukowski and Dickinson
Skull fucking Shakespeare
And shitting in the ears
Of everyone who came to hear poetry.

Renegade I

I never want to hear
the voice of my generation
and I never want to be
a voice for anyone.
I don't want to be infected
by a spread of enlightenment
from those who can't even spell it
let alone follow their own words.
I don't want to be taught
by someone who never learned
or loved by someone who never could.
I don't want to be helped
by anyone "better off"
and even though I may never win,
I will never be lost.

Way of the Wallow

I breathe within a sad hour
where I have forgotten how to die;
I'm no longer addicted.
I've become the drug
That everyone is afraid to try
But alone I'm fine
And all for myself.
I'm two hundred fucks away
From giving just one
And little do I care
While others care for me.
Pour me more,
See doors we ignore
And pick apart bridges over years
Instead of burning them down

Love and Other Impossibilities V

She told me
girls who act like sluts
do it to hide their personalities
and the ones who flaunt
their personalities
are just hiding their sex drive
on a nightly dirt road.
I arose, aroused with questions
and asked which she was.
She said she was both;
a ménage et tois
of truth and balance.

The Cougar

Sixteen on a fling
with a mean Bud Light queen
who seemed supreme
compared to anything I'd seen
and she had me
on demand, free
and even dreams wouldn't believe
the things we achieved.
The steam under sheets,
obscene words and screams,
but being her fling taught me one thing
it left me free from the need to be
We weren't in love we just made it
until everything we hated faded
under blatant blankets and great sex
far beyond the basics; an apex.
Exceeding the expectations
of wasted teenage faces
and late night races,
always a tie.
Always on high
Disguised by a lie about why
so much of my time was spent with her on nights then
divided by pride and non-possessive vibrance
Perhaps the lights that passed by us
instilled such a blindness
that I couldn't finance her lips off my eyelids.
Or maybe we were perfect for each other;
perfect for the purpose
of not feeling worthless and deserted
by making love on the surface
simply because we deserved it.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Convictions of a Love Outlaw

She never offered anything more
than what beats were left in her heart
because they should be enough.
But for every man she offered to,
it wasn't quite enough. Every man
but one who denied her
with a mask of her past to protect her.
Her heart was all he wanted
but he didn't have nearly enough
beats to match her. How could he
take her love knowing he couldn't
give her even a fraction in return.
He knew that type of life intimately
and it was that cauterization
that put him in her eyes.
They both wanted a challenge.
They both wanted to feel
But he loved her so much
that he would never let her feel anything
like what he experienced.
He loved her enough
to stay away but leave pieces
of himself throughout her world
to keep her away
from guys like himself.

Monday, November 12, 2012


I'd face a firing squad
wearing a smile
and every word I ever wrote
because they are creations,
my creations,
my arrangement of ideas;
a silhouette of truth.
And though paper is fragile
blood can erase ink,
and death can destroy
the memories of a man,
ideas will always remain

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Midwest Voodoo III

Don't misalign with me
Love is the only thing that's keeping me in line
I can't go a minute without a mistake
But I could love you till the end of time
And if waiting is my punishment
I'll do it just prove that I'm fine
Maybe death will always follow me
Maybe love is temporary
And forever was a slip of tongue
I've been stuck on the page of my demise
So please just close your eyes
So you don't have to see anything
That might change how you look at me

Midwest Voodoo II

You'll never know
I forgot how to think; how to breathe
When my thoughts cannot speak
And my heart cannot sleep
But I don't need much air to get by
I'll be my own lord now
And burn every church down
No sorrow
No war though
I'd kill just to love you
Maybe life is for the walking dead
Maybe hell can't handle my heat
I'd try to drown the devil in the sun
I've been drinking my blood
To close my eyes at night
But maybe if I burn them out I'll never have to cry

Midwest Voodoo I

Did you know
I count the tear-strokes across your face
And bite my lip into a pulp
Waiting for you to take your place
And break your name into my throat
How can you run if I don't let go
It never made any sense to me
I just can't tell if this is real
Maybe death is for the lucky few
Maybe I can't handle myself
Just say you love me and my broken tongue

Friday, November 2, 2012

Apocalypse Angel

I stay away from heights
Not because I'm scared to fall
I'm just afraid of never coming down.
Losing love is painful
But never letting go
Hurts so much worse.
So drop me off at 18th and Long
And leave me on my own
And let me go back home
Where I belong
But no, you can't.
You breathe to leave me dead inside
But without my fingers pried
I'll never let go,
I have too much pride
So I'll drink until my liver's sore
And whiskey drips from every pore.
Then I'll smile
Like it never hurt before.
Give me a martyr,
Don't give me a liar.
Scream when I touch you
We're both full of fire.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

My Own Plan

I'm lonely
but if you know me
you know I'm comfortable
in the back of your mind
where time ticks a fist
and glides a blade
across the veins
in my brain
that still carry your scent.

Man made whiskey
and whiskey invented chivalry
when blended with man,
when blended with me.

I'm sleeping alone
in a selfless trade to bargain
between a god and devil
that never cared enough to exist
but if no one bids no one wins.
So who gets the keys to me?
I guess I would
and I'd like a joyride
across the desert.

I made whiskey
and whiskey invented misery
when mixed with my faults,
when mixed with memories.

At Mercy's End

How should I feel about love
When I destroyed you
When all I did was love you
And undress shadows
So they could feel your light again
I made this mess a monument
To moments that grabbed us
By the throat
And we still breathed
We still breathe each other in
Everyday through memories
Still left on our skin


I get too low
To love myself
So I leave that
To someone else
I waste my time
On wasted nights
Below the waists
Of vagrant lights
Against myself
Against your skin
I fall from rage
And into sin

Behind Bars I

There's nothing I can say to move
Into a new a direction
I am without your heart.
This is a reoccurring moment
Where crucifixes mock my tears
And nothing is majestic
But everyone's infected
By every word I slur.


I'm busy nose diving
down a path where the wind
is made of glass. I'm burning
my icons and pissing
on their memories.
It's not my choice, my intention.
It's a cerebral dependency
on malicious intelligence.
A dependency for which
I'd chew an iceberg to be rid of.
But still I move
through a lake of brown bags
and thoughts of the past
with no aim and no chance of return.
If socially this is to be called
self destruction,
universally it must be
simple evolution.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Wasted Ears

All I want to hear
is a symphony of broken glass
mimicking my flooded brain
in the same chorus
that laughs at staying sane.

All I want to hear
is a symphony of floorboards
crying with me every night
into the same chaos
of tomorrow's light.

All I want to hear
is a symphony of carhorns
mocking every stab I take
in the same vein
that maps out my last mistake.

Meter of a Broken Man

Maybe chains suit me better
than a world away from pain
and to always live letters
than a word away from sane.

Blame it on the limbs of glass
stuck inside these walls
from the ghost I call a past
that pirouettes like elevators; rising as I fall.

You make me want to start a war
against daylight and dreaming
and turn off every star
that you might be seeing.

If nothing is forever and that's all I'm worth
at least I'll live and die my truth
But no matter how close you search
I'll always be that lost forever for you

A Definition of Bliss

I just want to watch myself burn
across the floor for you
because no one hates me quite like I do.
I'm not sure why I'm wrong
or where my sense of morals went
I don't know how to change my scent
but I can't stay this way.

I just want to watch you turn around
but I can't see the sun under your shadow
and I can't breathe a word within your gallows
I'm not sure why I let you leave
or when my sense of love disappeared.
I don't know how to care without fear
and I might stay this way.

Dirt Cynic

I need sobriety
to know who I am
like a poet in a coma
needs a fucking pen.
Find me a man who doesn't drink,
I'll find you one that doesn't think.
Find where I hide my misery
and you can dump it down the sink.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

My Mistake II


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I drank so much whiskey
because everything burns
and I thought if I cauterized 
the last memories of you
I could stop the feeling
in my heart.

My Mistake I

I drank so much whiskey
I could blend in with scotch.
Never did it to ease a pain;
I was born a little numb
and lost feelings over time.
But you were so different
that dead nerves came back to life
to feel you- all of you.

Monday, October 15, 2012

The Glass Bottom IV

I wonder where the whiskey goes
after I wake up sober as the rush hour sun.
But I know it all went to my heart, hopeful.
Filling fissures forever for the night.
But never in my wake does the bottle
keep its face locked onto mine.
I'm a mime in a dungeon
of darkness and noise.
Alone, tortured and useless.
I hope you never have to try
to forget anything as hard
as I try to forget about you.

Practice Makes Perfect

I'm learning how to die happy
One drink at a time.
I'm learning how to love harder
One buck at a time.
I'm learning how to sleep better
One pill at a time.
I'm learning how to kill demons
One shot at a time.
I'm learning how to live longer
One lie at a time.

Alaskan Winter

Tonight I met a girl
who loved the way I spoke and wrote.
She told me not to be so serious
and write about something happy
like glitter and unicorns, shit like that.
I told her those things are irrelevant
and perhaps if my world contained those
then I'd write a fucking rainbow on her ass.
But as it is my reality is an Alaskan winter.
Cold seventy five percent of the time,
dark as hell and I'm an alien.

Five Five Blondie

Tonight I met a girl
who said she would fix me up.
I must have looked broken.
She said she would pour light around me
until I could see myself; what I am.
I told her if that's necessary
then I know what I am. I'm a shadow
and if you've seen one
I might as well be timeless.

A Timeout Tavern Blue

Tonight I met a woman.
She laughed and called me cute.
I took a drag and a sip of neat No. 7
without taking my eyes from hers.
She asked if I wanted to get out of here
and go some place quiet.
I thought, more than anything
but thats impossible.
I put the cigarette out on my wrist
and downed my drink
without taking my eyes from hers.
Then I left.

The Pickup

I live immediate.
Always late and uneven;
Never looking ahead.
Maybe evolution skipped me.
Maybe you should too.
I'm not a man your father wants to shake hands with.
I'm not a boy your mother wants to cook for.
I'm a one heart festival of floor spinning visions.
But at this moment, just for you,
I think there's room for two.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Glass Bottom III

When the body is numb
the mind still pains.
It's a bit like an octopus tentacle
clinging to your esophagus;
a reality too persistent to swallow.
A sorrow too sorry to forgive.
It's not that I'm sorry at all
so my sorrows are just pigs
making a mess of the artistic presentation
of my invisible sobriety.
It doesn't make a difference.
When I'm drunk I'm insane
and when I'm sober
I'm just a mannequin
with a brain.

The Glass Bottom II

Where'd the world go
when it left with you?
Mine went down and rose again,
smooth, from the dead;
I fell with it and woke up
in the mouth of a river
of my own vomit.
Not one of my best moments
but it beats pissing in the wind
backwards down the sidewalk.
I had an overwhelming feeling
of rejection from you;
from death.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The Glass Bottom I

I slammed the Stoli bottle
on my desk like a gavel,
judging angels; judging me.
I let the hundred proof heat melt
the cold words in my throat;
the cold thoughts in my heart.
It's not a battle; not a war nor fight.
It's a luxurious apocalypse
of personal proportions.
One that can't be stopped 
by intervention
divine or otherwise.

The Perfect Relationship

If you and I are both made of glass
then we're tinted and diamond-proof.
We're aerodynamic
the wind can't touch us;
can't cool us down.
Like the way our hands latch
together sharing blood
until our palms are clammy.
Like the way our bodies snap
together sharing heat
until we both sweat.
We're tempered to a degree.
Until something pushes one of us
and the other just says fuck it
eliminating it from existence.
We're chipped by the past,
cracked by mistakes and
scratched by the gore of steamy nights
but not a single blemish from any fights.

More of an Observation

In your absence
I found more
than I've ever lost.
I found love as true
as it is mutual.
I found stars
in glass jars
and life in old scars.
I found me without you,
without why and grass
without lies but with dew
that felt warm
against your cool side.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

My Winona

So much for love songs
Everything I sing about you
Comes out slowed down and slurred
Like my hands on your hips
In the back of your kiss
I'll never know your full extent
And you know it kills me
Almost as much as I already do
How lovely could this be
If history repeated one last night together
Tell me you lost all those feelings
And maybe one night I won't need a drink
And maybe one night I might get some sleep
Without that I'm stuck here forever
In your weather whether I come down
Or I stay fucked up
At least I made your heart melt for a minute

Now and Again

I'm sorry that you were so perfect
So perfect for somebody else
And every time I see your face
I hate it, I hate myself
I hate the way it stays inside of me
Our pasts are just too much to handle
Our future never stood a chance
But let's not make now the night
To give love away

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Aim for the Breeze

She has the smile of a cobra
And fangs like piano keys
The oceans of her eyes
Speak hard and she tells me
I waited too long
To end up next to you
To end up losing you
To the wind


Why would you touch me
If you were playing the ghost
That manifests in lonely times?
If I ever had a need of you
I'm sure you'd have
better things to do.
As a matter of fact,
I would too.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

No More Secrets

Together we found love
And found our share of pain
We never wanted more
Than to be safe from our own rain
But in each other's arms
We created storms
And flooded all we wanted
So our prices were all paid
I made the choice to stay
You made the choice
To change the course and run away
And in the end I
Could never forget you
But as it is I
Will never miss you


You made the inevitable easy
And for that I thank you
But the dark that followed
Provokes me to hate you
But hate is so heavy
And I'm not so strong
But not quite as weak
As the tone in my songs
So I'll just be grateful
It could've been worse
I won't try to break you
That won't quench my thirst
What whiskey won't heal
Just might be forgotten
And you'll be a ghost
Despising your coffin


I was alive
In the black of her eyes
But I died every night
In the back of her mind
It wasn't right
All the secrets and lies
But I tried like you like
To be more than just a guy

Questions Unfair III

If we forgot about each other
And never said goodbye
Would you meet me every summer
In the middle of the sky at night
And dance
Like we didn't think the world was watching
And steal the hands off every clock to build a home
Burn the sands, destroy the hourglass
Beg the stars to watch us pass
And never be alone

The Air With Secrets

While everyone was busy
Forgetting about me
I was remembering them.
I fought myself;
My demons and bones.
I evolved my love
To eclipse the sun
And still went unnoticed
Like all of my phenomena
Were common ants;
Faulted by minuscule
Individual snapshots.
Old and faded by nights
That hated lights
And traded all of my love
For shallow ponds.

Twitteracotta Pie

Too often we are judged
by those we follow
instead of those we lead.
I may follow the ignorant
like I follow the dumb,
to learn from their mistakes
without having to make them.
I may follow the blind
like I follow the deaf,
to understand how they navigate
with their own strengths.
I may follow injustice
like I follow the justified,
to decipher the extremes
of balance and psychology.
I follow to learn the right
and wrong actions to take
so I can lead others better.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Questions Unfair II

Can we just remember
The way we wasted light
On long dark roads at night

Can we just remember
The passion from our drinking
The actions never thinking

Can we just remember
The nerves and sweaty palms
How we turned each other on

Can we just forget
The secrets and the lies
The hurt born of our eyes

Can we just forget
That night I stood you up
And all of our bad luck

Can we just forget
That night you broke down
Kissed and spoke aloud

Can we just be us
Let them be them
Care no more
And try again

Friday, September 7, 2012

No Angels for Cold Men

Am I all you see
When you say you want it all?
I may be bright
Enough to fill your world with light
But I'll burn out eventually
Even if I have to touch the sun.
I know there's no
Line we didn't cross,
Time considered lost
When we got drunk
And broke the night
Down to sweaty moans.
I felt at home
Between your bones
And then I made a point
To self destruct and fuck it up.
This I know.
But I can't fix it if I tried
In fact at times I tried
In the back of my own mind
To put every circumstance aside.
And so for you
I'll be a martyr to your heart
And keep it safe
From the demons that don't die;
Every demon of mine.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Another Moment of Sincerity

When I see rain
It's only water
And when I see pain
I own the blame.
I could make a beach
on the tears
I've made women cry.
I could make excuses
But I can't
Ever wonder why.

My love is a ghost
It haunts me every night.
My heart is a prick.
My liver's not alright.
My mind's full of tricks.
My eyes are out of sight.
My heroes are truant.
My fears are afluent.
My darks are too dark.
But I never wonder why.